Nanashi
by Beatrisu
Summary: When the search is over, a band is formed. In the meantime, they have to overcome the struggles. Rated for some violence, yaoi and lemons. If you like it, review. If you hate it, review. Just tell me what you think!
1. Drapes, carpets and withdrawal

**Author's notes: **So here I am with a new story, my first attempt at an epic in the KH fandom. I've written a couple of drabbles before, played the games and so forth, but this is AU. So forgive any liberties taken.

**Warning: **YAOI: We all love yaoi. If you don't, please press the back button.

**Pairings: **Welll... If I relayed that this early in the story, it wouldn't be as much fun... So I'll have you teetering on the edge a little longer. Be free to make guesses, though.

**Disclaimer: **I do not, in any way, own Kingdom Hearts. I wish, though. I wish, I wish, I wish. And if I did, Xemnas would be tied to my bed, wearing a pink boa. Just because I could.

**Rating: **For this chapter, T, but throughout... M. Disturbing so and so, humor and lots of sex (If the muses cooperate)

**Further Notes: **If you find any errors, pwease tell me. And also, this is the first chapter, so forgive me for the choppyness! It'll get better, I promise!

Now, on with the story...

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**Chapter one: Drapes, carpets and withdrawal.**

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Xigbar watched the thrashing body on the bed with silent regret, viewing the sweat glinting on exposed, pale skin, red velts from clawing nails sickeningly visible as the lithe body arched into a bridge, and a bloodcurdling scream rang through the air.

Xaldin had tied her up earlier, securing her wrists and ankles to the four posts on the bed, to keep her from harming herself. Withdrawal was never a pretty sight. Especially not on such young people. She couldn't have been more than 16, maybe 17. Much too young to be doing what she had been doing for who she had been working under.

Scrye. His reputation was frightening, and his actions more so. He was one of the most dangerous druglords in Midgar, and he obviously had no objections to hiring young girls to do his dirty work.

In front of him on the bed, writhing in the pains of withdrawal, was the widely feared assassin of Scrye's court, his right hand man –girl- Swiftblade. She was dangerous, accurate with her blades, and known for her penchant for torture.

Xigbar and Xaldin, as mercenaries, had been hired to kill her by the WRO. The TURKs couldn't get close to her, and so they were the next choice. The commisioner had given them strict orders, but when they looked into her eyes, and she pouted, Xigbar had cracked completely.

Another bloodcurdling scream tore from her throat, and she collapsed to the bed and vomitted rather unattractively all over the sheets, some of the white fluid also flowing over her black hair. Her breath was ragged, and she was obviously exhausted. He cursed silently and went to wipe her clean, drying some of the sweat away from her face and neck at the same time.

Her grey eyes were glaced over, her full lips parted and chapped, she was trembling all over and her nose was bleeding. Xigbar wasn't a doctor, and he wasn't an expert on withdrawal from drugs, but he had a fair amount of experience with pain, and he could see that she was suffering. He had a kind heart, and he hated to see people suffer like this.

A large shadow entered behind him, and he turned to look at his companion through many years and hardships.

"How is she doing?" His soft voice was silent, and the large healer stepped closer to the bed.

"Not good, man. She's exhausting herself, straining her muscles and vomitting all over the place. Got anything alternative that might remove some of the pain?" His yellow eyes narrowed slightly as he cringed in sympathy when she arched once more, screaming bloody murder.

Xaldin gave a curt nod and went out into the small kitchen of their apartment to cook up some of his herbal mixes against pains. They tasted like shit, but they _did_ work, and they most definitely did the trick against muscular pain. Maybe they'd be able to get something sensible out of her, or perhaps they could have her sleep through the ordeal. The latter would probably be the best choice, as he doubted that her brain was working properly at the moment.

He went back to his silent vigil, waiting for his good friend to re-enter the room.

When Xaldin came back with a mug of some horribly smelling liquid, their charge had somewhat calmed. She was still twitching and thrashing against her bonds, but she seemed to lack the energy to scream and vomit.

Xaldin seated himself at the edge of the bed and released the bonds around her wrists, gingerly enveloping her in his large arms and holding her up, helping her drink it all down. She was obviously thirsty, as she drank it all without complaint. Soon after, she was sleeping soundly.

"What do we do now?" Xigbar's voice was silent, questioning and pained. He could sympathize with the kid, really, but he'd never been into drugs himself. For which he thanked all gods this side of the world.

Xaldin heaved a great sigh and popped his neck, making his companion wince at the sickening sounds. "Now, we wait. The herbs will have her sedated and out cold for a couple of days, and she'll be over the worst part by then. That's best, anyway. We'll just stay with her and make sure she doesn't croak in her sleep. We need the info she can give us if we want to take down this bigshot bastard."

Xigbar gave a curt nod in reply and silently settled with his friend's wise orders. Xaldin always knew best. Well, almost always, anyway.

---

"Where'd ya put the eggs?"

"In the fridge, as always. Why?"

"Pancakes, Xaldin. There is no breakfast without pancakes. And I need fucking eggs-" Xigbar interrupted himself to sniff a carton of milk. "Guh! This shit's outdated, by millions of years, I swear!" He scrunched his nose in disgust. "It stinks."

Xaldin sighed and rolled his eyes, returning his attention to the paper he was reading. The night had gone quite well, if he could say so himself. The girl had slept, was still sleeping, and no more thrashing and vomitting had happened. The only problem was that they hadn't gotten any sleep. And he was worried about what comissioner Tuesti would say about them not killing the assassin.

He looked up again to see Xigbar's narrowed eyes scrutinizing him. "You're worried about the mission, eh?"

Xaldin gave a curt nod. "Yes. Could you be so kind as to stop prodding my brain for information? It counts as intruding on my privacy. Not polite, Xigbar. Didn't your parents teach you manners?"

Xigbar snorted. "I should say they did, but you're keeping things from me. Using my... gift to figure those things out isn't wrong. I'm worried about you, Xal."

With a slight smile, Xaldin stood up, towering over his companion. He grabbed his jacket and shrugged it on, pulling his dreads to hang around his shoulders as he headed towards the door.

"Where are you going, man?" The question was slightly frantic, curt, gruff. Trademark Xigbar, really.

"To get milk, Xig. Weren't you making pancakes?" Teasing. As always. Xaldin opened the door and walked out into the not-so-fresh morning air of Midgar city.

---

He rolled around in bed. Not comfortable. Too much light, too much sun, and somebody was tickling his toes. He rolled around again, and with a startled sound he found himself sprawled on the floor at his two best friends' feet, looking up at them with bleary eyes.

"Dem... We're going searching today. Remember? Your aunt's made breakfast. It would be rude of us to decline her kind offer."

Demyx sat up with a groan and rubbed his eyes with a tired yawn. Xemnas was expected to be grown up, but couldn't he have waited to grow up until he turned... Twenty? He was one year younger than Demyx, and already acted as if he was much older. Demyx didn't like that at all, he was eighteen, damnit, and he was supposed to be the one acting mature in the group.

"We know you're an adult, Dem. Really. Stop ranting." Zexion's voice was teasing, low and silky.

Had he really said that out loud?

"Yes, now get some clothes on and take care of your morning wood. Then you'll come down with us and have breakfast and we'll go search for Arrow. She has to be here somewhere, right?" Xemnas was _way_ too cheerful in the morning.

Zexion simply gave him a peck on the cheek and walked out the door. Not too soon after his head popped in through the doorway again. "Oh, and your cousin, you know, the tall, handsome, utterly sexy one named Leon?" At Demyx's eyeroll, he continued. "He said he'd help us get jobs. He's got this friend who works at a music store, and he might be kind enough as to let us work there as well. Maybe he can help us search?"

Demyx smiled. Zexion was easily excitable, upbeat and happy, most of the time, at least. When he wasn't, he was whining, bitching and moaning, and a brat to boot, showing just how evident it was that he was the youngest of the three. Formerly, they had been four.

As Xemnas joined Zexion to walk downstairs, Demyx stood, while idly listening to the chattering of the two younger ones. "-d'you think that Leon's friend might be this really hot blonde who'll be totally into me and proceed to swipe me off my feet and make hot love to me all night long, Xem?"

He didn't hear Xemnas' answer, as he tuned them out and headed for the bathroom. Zexion was usually much too imaginative.

Demyx himself thought that it would be nice to get out there and get some searching done, at least. Or so he should think. After all, they hadn't heard from her in over four months...

---

Zexion, to say the least, had been disappointed when it came to Leon's friend. He was hot, alright, but he was also cold, had a nasty temper and a slightly vicious streak.

It was easy to see that he had a kind heart, though. And he was silent and pleasant, but never abandoned that sense of coolness completely. It was pointless to say that Xemnas and this guy were instant friends, never mind the age gap of two years or so.

Saix, as was his name, was a tall, blonde, slightly tanned 19 year old who seemingly ran this music shop by himself. He explained that he was the manager, but wouldn't explain anything further. He had a nicely built body and a cross shaped scar across the bridge of his nose. While that might have been enough to ensnare or scare away anyone in and of itself, his looks had to be topped off with startlingly yellow eyes, and Demyx found himself wondering whether or not this guy wore colored contacts.

They'd been granted jobs there, and would be working in shifts. They'd also been offered a place to stay, since Saix lived in a huge apartment with his best friend, and there were quite a lot of vacant rooms.

Demyx already felt quite a lot more certain that this might work out well, and he had confidence that somehow, _somehow_, they'd find their missing friend. It might take time, but Demyx had his determination, Xemnas had his fierce protectiveness and Zexion missed someone to have girltalks with. Demyx was too butch, he had explained.

As of yet, they hadn't gotten much searching done, and Demyx pondered their options as they ate dinner in the apartment they now shared with Saix.

"What're you thinking of?" Zexion curled up in the corner of the couch and watched Demyx pensively. It was clear that he was worried, but right now he seemed calm. Demyx liked him best when he was that way, because sometimes, with his bouncy attitude, he could become a bit much. He loved him though, as if he was his brother.

"Just pondering our options, where we should search, how we should go about it... I was thinking maybe posters and such? That'd be a good way to look for her, I guess..."

"No. I don't think so, with how she was back in Gongaga, I think she might've gotten herself into trouble once she got here and we couldn't watch over her. If her drug abuse was bad back home, it might've escalated immensely once she got here." Xemnas, the voice of reason within their group. He always managed to put a damper on their mood.

Demyx, however, had several options in mind. "We could try asking around with a picture of her, you know? To see if anyone recognizes her? Maybe she lives on the streets or something?"

Xemnas nodded silently. "That might work, Dem... Though I'm not sure we'll find her easily. She's always been good at hiding. I can't say I blame her."

Demyx heaved a great sigh. It was easier said than done to look for a not-too-noticable black haired girl. Sure, she was cute enough, but she wasn't breathtaking in any way. Her charm came mostly from her quirky, upbeat personality and weird sense of humor. And her undeniably cute clutziness. This would _not _be easy, in any way.

"Maaaan, this'll be like finding the needle in a haystack!" Zexion flopped back onto the couch with a whine, covering his eyes with his arm in a rather dramatic way.

"You guys searching for someone?" The voice of their new housemate tore through the silence like a knife with it's calmness. Demyz turned to look at the tall blond who was now leaning against the wall behind the sofa.

"Yeah... Our friend. She moved to Midgar a while back, and we haven't heard from her in four months."

Saix frowned, making his scars crinkle slightly. It looked a little odd, but it didn't marr his handsome appearance at all. Just made him look a little more sinister. Demyx wasn't afraid at all. Right.

"I might actually be able to help you. That is, if you have a picture of her."

At this, the trio on the couch perked up, all turning to look at him with excited faces.

"Don't get your hopes up, though. This depends on whether my friend will be able to persuade his brother, which might be difficult, since the fucker is damned stubborn."

Their shoulders slumped again as Saix calmly tore down all hopes he might have built up.

Saix gave a quirky smile. "Hey, wouldn't hurt to ask him, would it? He'll be back soon, and then we might be able to talk to his brother tomorrow, if he isn't too busy." With that, he turned and walked into his bedroom, leaving the three in the livingroom to think about what he had said.

Zexion sighed dramatically and nearly slid off the couch as he slumped in his seat. "Man, he's so hot. Why does he have to be so damn unattainable?"

"Because that's just the way he works. He doesn't easily let people in, and he's a loner by nature." The voice didn't belong to Demyx and Xemnas, so Zexion turned to look at the new person standing in the doorway. He was tall and gangly and his eyes were the most startling shade of emerald green. Underneath those eyes were triangle shaped, black tattoos and his hair was a spiky mop of bright red. He entered and closed the door behind himself, eyeing the three teens in his home with poorly veiled curiosity and suspicion.

"You the new roomies?"

Zexion nodded mutely, Demyx gaped and Xemnas cleared his throat. "Uh... Yes. Are you the best friend?"

The tall redhead nodded with a wide smirk. "Uh huh... Name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" He sauntered towards the couch and plopped down next to a very fascinated Zexion.

"I'm Xemnas. These here," he pointed to his friends, "are Demyx and Zexion. Demyx is a teensy bit scared of everything and worries a lot, and Zexion will attack anything that is remotely attractive and has a penis attached to their person."

Axel gave a hearty laugh, eliciting a smirk from Xemnas. Demyx simply eyed him as if he was going to sprout tentacles and tear his clothes (and possibly, head) off at any given moment.

Zexion, who didn't seem to notice what Xemnas had just said to him, poked Axel's head gently. "I just can't help but wonder... Does the carpet match the drapes?"

This earned a groan from his two friends, and a surprised snort from the redhead. Axel reached up with a long, thin hand and tugged at one of his red spikes. "You mean, is my hair really this color all over?"

Zexion gave a quiet nod, wide-eyed with fascination.

Axel smirked. "Why, I couldn't possibly tell you that, could I? Wanna come check...?" He arched one eyebrow suggestively, causing Zexion to give a quiet half moan, half squeek.

Xemnas cleared his throat. "Zexion, if you please..." He then turned to Axel. "We have a problem that you might be able to help us with. Our friend has been missing for several months, and we know for a fact that the last place she visited was Midgar. Actually, she lived here." His brow furrowed and he scratched his forhead, weighing his words, before continuing. "We heard from Saix that if we had a picture of her, your brother might be able to help find her...?" He trailed off, looking at Axel with some form of childish hope in his eyes.

The redhead observed them for a moment, giving them all a once-over before turning back to Xemnas. "Uh... I could ask him, but I wouldn't know if he'd be able to, or if he'd even agree to do it..."

"But it's worth a shot, right?" Demyx piped up, his voice near frantic with hope.

Axel nodded slowly, hoping to all deities that his brother would agree to this. "Yeah... Listen, I'll just call him right away, sound good?"

He had to surpress a chuckle at the three eagerly bobbing heads directed his way. With a slight smirk, he dug his phone out of the right pocket on his jeans and flipped it open to dial his brother's number. Pressing the phone to his ear, he waited for the line to connect, and for his brother to pick up.

After a moment of silence, there was a click on the other end. "What the hell do you want, Ax?" His brother drawled snappily, sounding slightly frustrated.

"Hey, Reno... Listen, I have a favor to ask you." Axel bit his lip, waiting for an answer of some sort before continuing.

"I'm listenin', yo."

"Okay, great. Look, there are these kids that moved in with us a little while back, today, actually, and they're here in Midgar to look for a friend who's gone missing. Is there any chance you might come over and talk to them?"

"Er... I guess..? Look, do they have a picture of him or anything?"

"Yeah, they've got a picture of her. Or at least, so they say. Can you come over?"

Axel's brow crinkled with worry. He hoped his brother would agree to this.

A moment of silence. "...Yeah, sure. I'll be over in a couple hours. I've got some... matters to attend to first."

Axel heaved a great sigh. "Thanks, man. Now go back to fuckin' your boyfriend or whatever the hell you were doing when I called."

"Actually, we hadn't gotten quite that far just yet."

"Maaaan, too much info, bro!" With a groan of agony and embarassment, Axel hung up the phone and turned to the other teens in the room.

"Well, what did he say?" Zexion's voice was breathless and slightly shaky.

"He said he'd look into it. He'll be over in a couple hours. D'you guys wanna rest up a little, or something?"

At the simultaneous nods, Axel stood and led them to their respective bedrooms. "I'll wake ya when he arrives, though he's noisy enough to wake a sleepdeprived bear if he wants to."

Saying their thanks, Demyx, Zexion and Xemnas went to bed.

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**A/N: **I think I'll just cut it right here for the moment. This chapter was a serious bitch to write, and I honestly spent nearly 2 weeks on finishing it. I've polished it over and looked for errors, and I hope that there were none. However, if you found any, please inform me!

As a sidenote: Review! Cookies will be given and helping hands will be appreciated.


	2. A blackout and a new hero

**Author's Notes: **And here comes the next installment of Nanashi! Thanks to my (above) 40 readers, and to the one person who bothered to leave a review. I love you loads, cookies for all!

**Warning(s): **Mentions of druguse, language, Zexion is majorly OOC, a teensy bit of teenage angst, a crying Xemnas... Yeah, this story has 'em all.

**Pairings: **Still not telling, but you're allowed to guess.

**Disclaimer: **I, regardless of how many times I've broken and entered into the offices of Squeenix, still do not own the characters, the places or anything pertaining to the games. I merely... Borrow them... to have fun. Yeah.

**Rating: **Still T. Methinks M might come next chapter. Maaaaybe. So don't get your hopes up.

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**Chapter Two: A blackout and a new hero**

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She was running through the dirty streets of Midgar, a set of fighting knives clutched firmly in her hands. Her pursuers were hot on her heels, and her lungs were burning as she weaved through alleys and around crates, jumping over obstacles and dodging low roofs. She wasn't tired, but she could feel her senses clouding as her last fix started to set in. Her gaze was slightly hazy and colors stood out more than they would usually, but she had gotten used to that now. The only thing the high gave her was relief from the pain of daily life.

She could hear their boots thudding against the dirty road and rounded another corner as her enemies closed in on her from behind. She didn't like the look of this, she couldn't be captured now, damnit! She was so close to escape!

And then karma decided to jump up and bite her in the ass. She skidded to a halt only milliseconds before slamming into a brick wall. That wouldn't look good in the morning. If the morning ever came, that was.

Cursing profusely under her breath, oaths that would astound a sailor spilling from her full lips, she turned around and squared off against the two males walking calmly towards her. Her blood boiled with adrenaline and her mind was set; she was going to live, even if that meant killing to accomplish it.

As the two men stepped closer, she scrutinzed them silently, checking for weak spots or just some kind of way to break through and escape unscathed. She didn't find any. No one had ever cornered Swiftblade and escaped alive before, and she'd be damned if it happened now. Only, she hated to kill. She loathed herself everytime she had to do it, and she hated her boss even more.

The men stepped closer to her, and her eyes widened slightly. She was used to being afraid, and right now, she had reason to. These men were out to kill her, and she was quite certain that they would succeed. Her arms ached and her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath, her eyes wide with horror and mind reaching out blindly for some form of support.

Her surprise was large when she brushed the minds of the two in front of her with her own.

Yellow eyes widened along with grey as the shortest of the men felt it as well.

"Xaldin..." His voice was slightly breathless, as if he was winded, but it was the shock and not the long chase that had knocked the air out of him.

"I feel it too, Xigbar." Reassuring and calm, as always.

Turning towards the young girl once more, Xigbar looked her up and down. She was cute, but not extraordinarily so. Her body was covered in a black leather armor and strapped to her sides were the scabbards apparently supposed to contain the wicked looking knives she held clutched in her hands. She was short, maybe a little over five feet, and her hair was held back from her face in a long braid, reaching to her hips.

"You're a telepath." It was a statement, not a question, and as she nodded, Xigbar felt something click into place inside his head. He couldn't pinpoint it, but he felt like this was supposed to happen. Somehow, they were meant to have gotten this mission and make the best out of it. He turned to look up at his companion. "Xaldin, we can't kill her."

His companion's lips turned down into a frown, and the large man furrowed his brow as he looked at the young girl standing in front of him.

"You're right, we can't. But we can't let her go back, either." His voice was calm, his words carefully planned and weighed, as usual. Xigbar stared at him in surprise.

"You mean that you aren't gonna grab hold of the chance to kill one of the most feared assassins in Midgar?"

The girl scuffed her toes against the rocky ground and pouted at them. She was ignored.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. We're going to bring her home and get her off the drugs, and then we'll see what happens. She's got potential, and I bet she's got the will to change. We aren't dead yet."

Xigbar thought that over for a second, and turned towards the girl. "You wanna get out of here?" A nod was his answer. "Are you willing to quit the drugs?" Another nod. "Why haven't you tried to kill us yet?"

As he asked the last question, her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell to the ground in a dead faint.

---

Pain. She'd been in a lot of pain. It had ended a little while ago, but she didn't want to open her eyes. What if they'd actually broken their "promise" and killed her? What if she was in the lifestream or something worse? What if she was dead?

Silently, she moved her hand a little. The soft sheets seemed tangible enough. So did the duvet she was resting under. The bed she was lying in was quite comfortable, and only now could she make out the sunlight shining bright against her face and the smell of pancakes drifting in through an open door. She could hear the clanking of pots and pans, and as she thought of food, her stomach began to rumble.

She opened her eyes and found herself in a room, painted a bright yellow. Her bed was covered in black sheets and the ceiling was white. The curtains were black, and there was quite a lot of black furniture littered about the room. She sat up and looked down at herself. She was dressed in a pair of black sweatpants that no doubt would cover her feet the moment she stood, and a huge, black t-shirt that would probably fall to her knees and off one of her shoulders.

Not caring in the least about her rumpled appearance, she stood up- and had to sit down again immediately as vertigo assaulted her. She was quite dizzy, thirsty and hungry, but also a little sick to the stomach.

Trying again, a little slower this time, she stood and walked toward the open door. The smell of pancakes grew stronger and she let out a happy sigh, stretching. Only then did she notice the dull craving she had, the ache, the itch for something she lacked.

The kitchen was occupied by one of the men that had "rescued" her, the smaller one. He had long, black hair, gathered at the back of his head into a long ponytail, and he was wearing a black shirt and a pair of nice, asshugging jeans. She instantly liked those jeans. Then she remembered that they sat on a guy, and she didn't like them as much anymore.

Xigbar turned toward her with a wide grin. "You're up! Thought we were gonna lose ya, you were so far out. You've been unconcious for three days, so I bet you're hungry?"

She cleared her throat and thought this over for a moment. "Uh... Yeah, I guess I'm a little hungry... Thristy, too. Where am I?" Her voice was not at all unpleasant, soft and light, shy and uncertain, laced with sleep.

"You're up above the plate, kid. Breakfast will be up in a few and there's a bathroom down the hall if you want to take a shower or something. You can borrow some of my clothes, I'll just place them outside the door while you're in the shower. And don't bother looking for drugs, we don't use even the mildest form of painkillers. Xaldin's a healer." He smirked slightly at her, his yellow eyes twinkling with mirth and... Worry?

"Uh... Okay... Thanks, I guess... I'll just go take that shower now." She moved in the direction she'd been given, but turned around before leaving the room. "What's your name?"

He gave her a gentle smile, flipping a pancake and adding more batter to the pan. "Xigbar. Better remember it, as I'm only gonna tell ya once. Now go shower, we've got a lot of stuff to do before the day is over!"

She smiled weakly and turned to head back down the hall. Suddenly, her life seemed less empty, more promising. She prayed to whichever gods existed that this would help her. She missed her friends... But they'd probably forgotten about her, anyway. And that was for the best.

---

He tossed and turned in his bed, trying hard (and failing) to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Never mind that, he was just not tired enough to sleep. He was exhausted, yes, but his mind was riddled with worries for their lost friend. They hadn't heard from her in four months. Four _fucking_ months! What the hell had happened to her? If he didn't die from stress and worrying, he'd get an ulcer, he was sure of it. Why the hell did these things happen at the worst possible of times? Was he cursed?

He rolled around before abruptly yanking himself up into a sitting position and scooted over to sit against the headboard, dragging his duvet up to wrap around himself with an angry motion. What the fuck was _wrong_ with the world, anyway? Not that he didn't have enough to worry about with a rather fragile mother, an angry father and a gay older brother, who had resently been disowned for the second time, just for being what and who was natural for him. He sympathized deeply with Vexen. Their father was a fucking nutjob.

And if that wasn't enough, Arrow had to make herself vanish. He didn't know what had happened to her, what she had been doing while living in Midgar, but he knew that when she first moved here, it was because of some modelling job. Not that the job had continued for a long time, since the photographer, a guy by the name of Marluxia, was rather strict and could send her into a hysteric fit just by sending her a nasty glare. How could you be so intimidating when you had fucking _pink_ hair?

He had almost given up hope when they reached Midgar and sort of temporarily moved in with Demyx's aunt and uncle and three cousins. Sure enough, he'd gotten along fine with the oldest, Leon, and the youngest brother seemed nice enough. What was his name again? Roxas...? Ah, well... But Roxas' twin sister had been too much to handle. Her exuberance, when combined with the bouncy attitude of one Zexion Sugisaki, had proved almost lethal to the entire group of people. Zexion had been chattering on about how great it was to find a girl -her name was Selphie, by the way- who shared the same interests as him, at some points, and was also just as happy go lucky as himself. Xemnas nearly barfed. They were too sugarcoated and cute for anything of this to be real.

On top of this, they hadn't really gotten any real searching done as of yet. Sure, it was nice of Axel's brother to want to help, but how could some normal guy just- just walk in and be able to save the day? He couldn't quite see that happening. And to think of this, he hadn't been able to protect her at all. Not at all. He was supposed to be her hero, damnit! What kind of hero was he, just letting her go to Midgar all by herself when it was obvious she had enough troubles as it was? How could he do that? He was a horrible person. A horrible, horrible person, ice cold and not capable of love. He couldn't even love his own family properly. To him, love was just an excuse to get close to people and hurt them, and he didn't want that to happen to anyone. He had seen it wreck Zexion time and time again, and to think that the kid still went on and fell in love all over again was sort of disheartening. No, Xemnas would never claim love for anyone.

When it was clear that he probably wouldn't get any sleep anyway, Xemnas crawled out of bed and pulled on a pair of loose sweatpants and a t-shirt and wandered into the kitchen. Saix sat at the table, listening to a happily chattering Axel, who was rooting through the cupboards for coffee or something equally toxic. As he entered, they both looked to the doorway. Saix gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Couldn't sleep, huh?"

"..Nah... I just... I keep worrying, y'know? It's not like... like I believe she's dead, or something, or that she's gotten herself wrecked with drugs or whatever, I just... What if she's angry with us for forgetting her or something?" Xemnas sat down at the table and rested his forhead against his crossed arms.

Axel patted his shoulder gently. "There, there. Everything'll work out. My bro's really great, ya know, and he's got rather powerful friends, so I think he might be able to help you find her. And it isn't as if you forgot her, so she can't be mad. You're ehre, right?"

Xemnas looked up at him with tired, disheartened, amber eyes. "You think so?"

"He knows so. Hell, even _I_ know so! When Reno says he's gonna find someone, he won't give up until he's got them right in front of himself or whatever..." Saix's calm reassurance wasn't enough to quiet his raging emotions, though.

Axel gripped his shoulder firmly. "Look, my brother, he's one of the best out there. He works for Shinra, you know? Rufus Shinra? Yeah, so my brother will be able to help. I know he will."

Xemnas sighed heavily as his head thumped back into it's former position on his arms. "How do I know he's not just some wackjob executive or whatnot?"

Axel chuckled. "He's a TURK, man. The TURKs are the best fuckers out there. If anyone can find her, it'd be them."

Xemnas' eyes widened. "A fucking _TURK_? What the hell?"

"Heey, don't sound so shocked, I'm not that horrible, am I? He practically raised me!" Axel's voice had a mockingly hurt quality, attempting to lighten his mood. Saix got the picture.

"Axel, you're useless. You can't even make coffee! I mean, honestly, you could burn water, you can't cook to save your life, you can't even find your way from this apartment to the convenience store! What the fuck would you do if I wasn't here to look after you?"

Axel pouted cutely and turned towards his best friend. "Man, that's just mean. I'm not that bad?" he whined, giving him a kicked puppy look.

Xemnas, by this point, couldn't surpress his laughter. These guys were hilarious, or maybe it was just his own lack of sleep, the stress, the terror they'd been through lately? He didn't know, but he couldn't remember the last time he had laughed quite like this. His entire frame was shaking with the force of his guffaws, and soon tears were rolling down his cheeks and he sobbed miserably, trying, but failing to get a grip on himself.

The tall redhead knelt down in front of him and gathered him into his arms, stroking his back gently with strong, warm hands as he rocked back and forth, mumbling soothing words into his hair. It felt undeniably good to just let it all go, and Xemnas wrapped his arms firmly around the older boy, as if he was a lifeline and he was drowning.

His shoulders were shaking with the force of his sobs, and he hiccuped silently, removing an arm from his constrictor-like grip on Axel to wipe at his eyes. Saix was also kneeling beside him by now, and held a tissue out for him. "Hey, it's okay to cry when you're afraid. I mean, I understand how it feels to worry for a friend..." He trailed off, sending a pointed look at Axel, who smiled sheepishly.

"Hey, Sai, I'm okay now, right? I was only in the hospital for like.. A month. But the worst part was when you didn't visit. Y'know?" He stroked Xemnas' cheek gently, smiling calmly, giving the taller boy a reassuring look. "It's okay, kid. My brother will find her. Why don't you go rest?"

Xemnas nodded silently and stood, making his way into Demyx's room. The older boy was wrapped firmly around his covers, something not unusual, as he had a tendency to thrash in his sleep, and Xemnas sat down on the edge of his bed. He reached out tentatively, placing a shaking hand on the blond's shoulder. "Dem..?" His voice was soft and thick with tears.

Demyx, who wasn't used to Xemnas being emotional, snapped awake in an instant, looking up at his younger friend's face with worry evident in his features. His brow crinkled and he reached out, tugging the rather lanky frame into his arms. "Hey, what's wrong, Xem..?" His voice was soft and comforting, as if soothing a child. Xemnas surmised that he was probably used to that, as his brother, Sora, was emotional as hell. He sank into the warm arms with a soft sigh, snuggling close to his friend.

"I failed her, Dem." Soft, firm, thick with self loathing. Demyx's eyes watered at the sound of it. He sighed shakily and let out a sniff, wrapping his arms tighter around the silverhaired boy.

"No, you didn't. You couldn't have known, Xem. She's probably out there somewhere, alive, hopefully healthy... It's just a matter of finding her. It won't be easy, but we'll make it." This was stated with conviction, Demyx being the insufferable optimist he always was.

Before Xemnas could deny his statement, the door creaked open and a bedtoussled and teary-eyed Zexion entered the bedroom, silently making his way over to the bed and slipping in beside his friends. He wrapped his arms around them both and buried his face in Demyx's back, letting out a soft, shaky sob. "We're never gonna find her, she's gone. I bet that she's dead, Dem..."

Demyx sighed, exasperated that all disturbed and disheartened teenagers used _him_ as a comforter. "Look, guys, stop being so fucking pessimistic! I've got enough problems with this as it is, and I can't carry your weights as well. It's okay that you come to me for comfort, yeah, I'm willing to give that to ya, but you can't give up hope! I can't hope for all of us, and I can't let this go. I'm gonna find her, if I have to do it alone. Please, just... Just fucking... I don't know." It started out strongly and trailed off into silent despair in the end. Demyx wasn't _immune_ to teenage angst, he just didn't suffer from it quite as often as his two friends.

Zexion shifted closer and wrapped his arms firmer around the oldest boy, while Xemnas, on the other side, tucked Demyx's head under his chin. When he spoke, it was softly, with reassurance. "We're going to find her. We're going to find her, if it is the last thing we do. We owe her that much, we owe her _siblings_ that much."

"That's more liked it," Demyx smiled, snuggling closer to the warmth of his two best friends. "Besides, if we didn't, Mom would shred me to bits and feed me to a ravenous Sora. I don't want to meet that fate."

This earned a laugh from his companions, and soon, they all tumbled into sleep, blessedly free of dreams.

---

Reno Sinclair was an interesting character, to say the least. Demyx watched in silent trepidation as the older man _strutted_ into the apartment, an EMR gripped loosely in his hand as he tapped the end on his shoulder. He was dressed in a trademark navy blue TURK suit, albeit sloppily, and he wore a smirk unlike any other he had ever seen. His hair was the same, vivid red as Axel's, and he had red crescents tattoed beneath his eyes, marking his cheekbones quite handsomely.

"Hey, cockroach." Axel's greeting was met with a silent glare of disdain, before the older man answered in a drawl.

"You should respect your elders, Ax. Didn't I teach ya manners?"

This earned a snort from Saix, and the others, who weren't used to the two brothers, felt their eyes widen and had to stifle a laughter.

"Yeah, ya did, but I kindasorta didn't wanna follow your guidelines, bro." One of Axel's delicate, red eyebrows rose sarcastically, and he smirked, thinking he had gotten one over his brother.

"Well, figures then that you're so stupid, since I kindasorta tried but failed to get any intelligence pressed into that brain of yours."

"Intelligence is hereditary."

"Well, then I got the deep end of the gene-pool."

Axel sighed, not able to come up with a good comeback.

"Owned." Reno's statement didn't make the situation better, and the younger redhead sunk into the couch with a soft groan of agony. Saix patted his head in a comforting (and slightly degrading) manner, smiling fondly.

Reno turned to look at the three new teens in the room. "I'm Reno Sinclair, yo. What can I do ya for?"

Zexion nearly squealed, his eyes going wide as he slapped his hand across his mouth. No, it was _Saix_ he wanted, not Axel's probably a lot older and possibly taken brother.

"Uhm... I'm Demyx Hashiba. This is Xemnas Marsden," he indicated the tall, tan, silverhaired teen, "and Zexion Sugisaki." This time he pointed to the slatehaired youth seated beside himself. "We've got... uh... a problem, that you might be able to help us with."

Reno nodded and seated himself on the corner of the coffeetable. "I'm all ears, yo."

Xemnas cleared his throat and fished his wallet out of his back pocket. "Our friend, Arrow, has been missing for four months, and we haven't heard from her since a week before that. She used to send us letters with no return address or call from a phonebooth or whatever, but we didn't hear from her at all, and we're worried. The last time we heard from her she lived here in Midgar, doing whatever the hell she did, I don't know..." He trailed off into thought, fishing for more info he could give out. "Uhm... She might've gotten herself into trouble of some kind, since she was a drug addict, and... Yeah... Here's her picture." He fished a photo out of his wallet and handed it to the TURK, folding his hands in his lap as the older man watched it.

Reno's brows furrowed. He'd seen this girl before. She had long, black hair, stormy, grey eyes, Wutainese features and full, pink lips. In this photo, she was smiling brightly which made her look extremely cute, but when he'd last seen her she'd been standing over the dead body of a rich man, her knives dripping blood.

It was Swiftblade, the assassin of Scrye's court. The last he'd heard was that two mercenaries, elites, had been hired to get her, whereas the TURKs hadn't been able to. They were hired to kill, and judging from the reports he had seen, they had done their job effectively. He let out a heavy sigh and eyed the three teens seated on his couch. He handed the photo back to Xemnas, then turned toward Axel and Saix. He bit his lip and turned back, taking time to look them all in the eyes.

"...I'll see what I can do, but from what I've heard, she's..." He trailed off, not able to crush the hope in their eyes. He grit his teeth and clenched his eyes shut, biting back tears of regret. When he spoke again, his voice was thick. "I'll find her for you. Information or whatever. I've seen her before, and... Yeah, so... Don't you worry, 'kay? Reno's got it. I'm gonna get my partner into cooperating with me, possibly drag AVALANCHE along, and we'll see what we can do."

He couldn't bring himself to tell them that their friend was dead. He just couldn't. So for now, he'd let them hold onto their hopes a little longer.

"Really? You'll help us?" Zexion's voice was shaky and breathy, and tears were shining in his eyes, a bright, wide, slightly reluctant smile sneaking it's way onto his face.

Reno smiled weakly and nodded. "Yeah, I'll do all I can. Okay?"

This earned him a flying hug from Zexion, and they both crashed to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Reno squawked and flailed slightly, but soon caved and with a pretty blush, he awkwardly wrapped his arms around the happily snuggling ball of fluff. "Did I make your day, kid?" His voice was steady and teasing, and his answer was a sound kiss full on the lips.

Zexion withdrew with a dazzling grin on his face. "Totally! You're amazing!" He snuggled close again, happy with his new hero.

All the while, Axel kept an eye on Saix, since he knew that the kid now happily molesting his older brother was (not so) secretly lusting after the blond bombshell. The look of utter shock on his face spoke volumes. Axel smirked. His best friend didn't seem so stonehearted after all. Interesting.

---

"Awww, _maaaan_, I'm so _tired_!" Zexion whined, flopping down on the floor with an arm flung dramatically over his eyes. Demyx poked him with his toe.

"Y'know, if you didn't suddenly get that urge to go shopping while we were searching, you might've actually not worn yourself out. Though, I bet it would've been fruitless anyway." The blond plopped down beside his youngest friend with a heavy sigh, leaning his head back to look up into the ceiling. "It's a shame that we didn't bring our instruments. I suddenly got the urge to jam a little."

"Wouldn't've been the same without Arrow, man. I mean, what's a band without a guitarist?" Xemnas slid to the floor beside them, placing his head on Zexion's belly. "Mmmm... A nice, soft and squishy pillow."

Zexion grumbled. "'m not soft and squishy. _You're_ soft and squishy."

"Drummers are never soft and squishy, Zex."

"Arrow always said that you're soft and squishy."

"She's the only one who has the right to call me soft and squishy."

"Awww, Xemmy-kins has a soft spot for Ar!" Demyx teased, sticking his tongue out to blow a raspberry at him.

Xemnas sat up with a blush on his cheekbones. "I do _not_ have a soft spot for _anyone_! I'm perfectly devoid of emotion."

Zexion rolled his eyes with a very uncharacteristic snort. "Sure you are. And you never get really pissed of and holler at the top of your lungs at your older brother, either. Nooot at all. 'Cause I've _never_ heard it."

Xemnas rolled his eyes up and looked skyward. "Vexen's different. I mean, he's like... He's like my brother, right? Who doesn't yell at their brothers? Demyx always has tons of fights with Lex and Sora, why can't I fight with Vex?"

"Because _you_ claim to be devoid of emotion, Xem. I mean, seriously, if you're devoid of emotion, why do you go out of your way to save Arrow whenever she gets herself into a jam?" Demyx eyed him with curiosity as Xemnas turned to look out of the window.

His voice was soft when he answered. "She's special, you know? It's like... She needs us. Needs _me_! That makes me feel all warm and happy, and... Whenever I think of her, think of what might've happened to her... I feel lost, hurt... It's like I've kinda... I don't know. Lost something?"

Demyx's brow furrowed, and he placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Xem... You can't save her all the time, okay? That'd be asking too much of yourself."

"Heh... I know. I just can't help it." Xemnas smiled wryly as he looked at his two best friends. The empty space left by Arrow felt all the more hollow now.

"Hey, Arrow's plenty strong, man. She can probably take care of herself." Zexion had so much faith in all those his senior, but he was also fiercely protective of them. They could always rely on him to come up with some good solution (or excuse), even though he could seem like a total ditz at times.

"Yeah, probably." They trailed off into a comfortable silence, only attainable through loads of good chemistry or a lifelong friendship.

"Hey, d'you guys remember that time Arrow decided that she wanted to live with me?" Demyx asked, a grin spreading on his face.

Xemnas chuckled. "Yeah, we were what... Eight? And she decided to make a ropeladder out of her bedsheets and climb out the window."

"Uh huh, and then she fell down and broke both her arms." They all broke out into laughter at the memory of a very miffed Arrow, walking into school with both her arms in thick casts.

"Gods, that was hilarious. I mean, it must've hurt, but... She just looked so funny!" Demyx grinned widely. He'd been nine at the time, and his home had been like a safe haven for the one year younger girl, a place where she could escape from her abusive father.

"I miss her... She's like, the biggest clutz ever."

"Yeah, Zex... I hope we find her."

"Me too, Xem. Me too."

Demyx laid back and stared at the ceiling. They'd find her. And when they did, he'd kick her ass for making them worry so much.

--

--

**Notes: **So this chapter took a lot less time to finish than the last. Which made me happy. Wanna know what would make me more happy? If someone reviewed my fic. I adooore reviews, and I promise to answer any that are flung my way.

Hope you enjoyed.


	3. Lost eyes and newfound hope

**Author's Notes: **My budgie, Donald, died the day before Easter. Let's spend a moment ins silence for him. –silence-

Okay: This chapter... Is the longest yet. Thirteen pages, guys! Wow! The longest chapter that I've ever posted. I've also hit nearly 100 viewers, which is great. I wish more of you would review, though.

**Pairings: **Onesided(?) Akuroku (Yeah, Axel's eighteen and Roxas is fourteen. Big deal.) The rest are as of yet secret. Oh, and mentioned Lexaeus/Larxene and RikuSora.

**Warning: **Random sex, not so random violence, Demyx with a headache and a bouncy Zexion.

**Disclaimer: **I tried to steal Vexen. He froze my ass after Demyx soaked me in water. It hurt, so I'm not trying again.

**Rating: **It has finally deserved its rating of M. No hot mansex, though. Only Xigbar taking out his frustrations. Though that's hot too. 'Cause Xigbar's my obsession, and he's hot because I say so. –luffles Xigbar-

Le show must go on!

---

**Chapter three: Lost eyes and newfound hope.**

---

Xigbar woke up to the sound of soft guitar music, accoustic, and wondered briefly who had turned on the stereo. He rolled over and opened his eyes, still huddling under the comforting warmth of his blankets. It felt far too good to just lay there, and he could feel sleep tugging at the edges of his mind. He heaved a great yawn and made a few sleepy noises, burrowing further into the soft comfort of his bed. The music was pleasant and that soft voice singing was kinda pretty, too. It had this husky quality to it, yet it was musical and emotional. He didn't recognize the melody.

The music stopped, and he could make out muffled noises from the livingroom. He concentrated a little, trying to hear what his two companions were talking about.

"-re pretty good," Xaldin said. Xigbar frowned in concentration.

"Thanks." Swiftblade. Why was she thanking him?

"How long've you played the guitar?"

"For about... Nine years, now. My friend's older brother taught me. He's really cool, and almost as big as you. He was kinda scary in the beginning, but I got used to him rather quickly."

The girl had been with them for about four weeks now, and they were training her every evening at precisely seven o'clock. None of them slept much, so they'd spent long nights training, discussing or just hanging out, sharing light banter. It surprised him how easily she had fit in, how different the atmosphere was with a girl in the house. When he thought about it, he liked it. A lot. She was quite easy to get along with, and a nice kid. Sure, she had her issues, and she could be a real pest, but they had sort of found common ground in their shared abilities, and that comforted them all.

She was stubborn as hell when it came to training, and Xigbar had to laugh a little as he thought of all the times that he –or Xaldin- had beaten her to a bloody pulp and she'd just refused to give up. She'd stand there, blood gushing from her nose, cursing and sporting bruises all over, quivering with muscle strains, and she just wouldn't give in. She gave as good as she got, though, and Xigbar was kind of scared to think of her amazing physical strength. That girl could pack a punch, alright. A real good punch. With teeth.

He still had a huge bruise (along with several smaller ones) from last night's sparring match.

He sat up and stretched, his hair falling in tangles about his face and shoulders. He needed to wash it soon, he thought, running his hands through the mass of black. With a frown, he held a section of hair in front of his eyes, inspecting it. Then he jumped up and ran into the livingroom.

"Holy fuck, Xal! I've got grey hair!" His voice was still heavy with sleep, and he was quite distracted by the fact that his precious hair was graying.

"Coulda told ya that for free, old man." Swiftblade looked up at him with a wide grin, her grey eyes shining with mirth. Xaldin smiled at their banter and moved into the kitchen to brew another pot of coffee.

Xigbar grumbled. "No matter how old I grow, you'll never beat me, kid." He smirked and walked past her as she stood, heading for the bathroom while giving her ass a light slap. "It's because of your XX chromosomes." He disappeared into the bathroom, not sensing the enraged glare directed at his retreating back.

---

When time came for their training, Swiftblade was seething,. No one called her weak and escaped unharmed. Especially not when they blamed it on her being a girl. No one! Xigbar was going to pay for that comment, and he was going to pay dearly.

She glared at him as he entered their training area, and before he could even greet her, she launched herself at him, sending hard punches and flying kicks in his general direction. Her knives were secure in her hands, and she held them with confidence as she took out her righteous anger at him. She managed to land a couple of hits that she was quite sure he was going to feel in the morning, she even heard the snap as a rib cracked once.

Xigbar saw no other possibility but grappling her, not if he wanted to escape in one piece. He didn't think it through, though. Grappling an angry assassin who held deadly knives wasn't a very bright idea, and he barely managed to keep those lethal blades away from his throat.

"Blade, seriously, calm down!" He could hardly recognize his own voice, and he was kind of scared of her right now. She seethed at him, growling and baring her teeth. With a yelp, he felt her teeth sink into his arm. Man, that girl had sharp teeth.

"It's Arrow," she all but spat at him, and suddenly her knives slipped past his guard, taking out his right eye and tearing a long gash into his left cheek, blood spilling forth immediately.

Xigbar curled up into a fetal position, cradling his face, blood spilling past his hands. Arrow sat back, shocked, but satisfied. She wasn't certain of what she should do, so she looked over to Xaldin, who seemed to keep his calm.

Xigbar was moaning and groaning with the pain, not knowing what to do. He couldn't remove his hands, he had to clutch his face. It hurt too bad for him to just let go right now, he couldn't stand it. He wanted to throw up, to hide, to die, to fade away all at the same time, causing a jumble of emotions to form a tight knot in his chest. Gingerly, he removed the hand from the left side of his face. And saw his eye on the ground, staring blindly up at him. With a bloodcurdling roar, he collapsed to the ground, unconcious.

---

Arrow deleted herself, avoiding Xigbar, who was sulking on the couch. Xaldin barely had any patience with the two of them left, and kept his gaze fixed on the bandage covering his best friend's face.

"Chicks dig scars, Xigbar. It won't be that bad." Well, at least he'd given it a try.

"I lost my fucking eye."

"It could've been worse. She was pissed off, and she could've killed you. Probably would've. You should be grateful it was only your eye, man."

"It was my _good_ eye."

"At least you're not dead."

"I don't want to see her, ever again."

"You should've seen her when you were in surgery. She was pacing all over the place, nearly tearing her hair out. She was worried, and she feels guilty."

"Then she should say that she's sorry."

"And you can kiss and make up, and everything will go back to normal. Right?"

"I've lost my pride."

"How so?"

"I was beaten by a fuckin' girl, man. A _girl_!"

"Could have happened to the best." Xaldin had to try hard not to laugh. Xigbar was pathetic in his wounded dignity.

"But she's fucking _tiny_! Have you _seen_ her? I mean, she's like a friggin' feather, and... And..." Xigbar trailed off, his hands, which had been used for gesturing, poised in mid air.

"And I'm sure she's a great fuck. Look, Xig, just get over it. You've got another eye, no? Be glad she didn't take that out as well."

Xigbar gave a wry smile. "Wasn't so certain for a while, there. Was sure she was gonna pierce my brain or whatever. Scary broad, man!"

Xaldin laughed softly, watching his friend intently. When Xigbar joined him in laughter for a short period of time (his cracked ribs _really_ hurt), he felt better. "Can I leave you to make up now? I'm sure she's curious to know how you feel."

"Yeah, sure. Where is she, anyway?" Xigbar looked up, his one eye suddenly serious. Xaldin had to admit that those bandages on his face made him look like he'd been run over by a flock of rabid monsters.

"She's in her room. I think she's crying."

Xigbar groaned. "Aww _man_! Don't tell me I have to deal with an emotional chick, now!"

Xaldin sent him a serene smile. "You have to deal with an emotional chick. Teenager at that."

Xigbar flipped him off and stood, careful not to jarr any broken bones in the process. "I'm off to talk to her. If I don't come out in an hour, we're either both dead or fucking like bunnies." He sent his friend a wry smile before heading down the hall towards the girl's bedroom. They figured that since she'd be living with them, they'd redecorate one of the rooms to suit her, and Xigbar was quite happy to find that she preferred monochromes and soft colors, not raging pink. Like most girls.

He knocked at the door.

He could hear faint shuffling before it opened, and was met by bloodshot, bright blue eyes. He had to blink. "What happened to your eyes, kid?"

She sniffed slightly. "They change color when I cry," she said, wiping miserably at her runny nose with her sleeve before smoothing out her hair, trying to regain some dignity, some semblance of good looks. Xigbar thought that he'd never seen anything quite so cute before. He had to steel himself for the conversation, though. He wasn't about to let this go just yet, the girl had very nearly killed him.

"You could've killed me, kid. Those pointy things are dangerous."

"You should have thought about that before you grappled me."

"Yeah, well you shouldn't have cut my eye out. That hurt."

"You shouldn't have made that comment about me being a girl, and thus weak."

He blinked. He'd been owned by that kid just now, hadn't he? Stepping into the room and closing the door behind himself, he turned to look at her again.

She was wearing a pair of black jeans, not too tight, but showing off enough ass to look pleasant. On top of that, she wore a simple, tight, black sweater which fitted her nicely. She had a good body, he thought, smiling slightly to himself. Her long black hair was gathered into a loose braid, hanging down her back, some strands having escaped from it, no doubt after crying. When he spoke, his voice was soft, warm and comforting.

"Were you... worried?"

She nodded. "Yeah," her voice was quiet and soft, thick with tears, "I was afraid that I'd killed you or done unrepairable damage, and couldn't stop beating myself up over it. I'm so, so, so sorry, Xigbar!" She turned to him, her eyes brimming with tears again. The corners of her lips were turned down into a sad grimace, and her eyes flooded over. Bringing her hand up, she wiped furiously at her eyes.

"Hey, hey..." He stepped closer to her and gathered her gingerly into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. "It's okay... Just an eye, right?" He gently pushed her away to look into her eyes. She was still crying, her eyes swollen and poofy and her face bright red. It was kinda cute in a slightly unattractive way.

"But I-" she started, but he cut her off.

"Don't worry about it, okay? It was just an eye, you didn't kill me. Still here, kid. Takes more than that to get rid of me." He held her tight again, sensing her need for comfort. She was young, and she'd probably never hurt her friends like that before.

She gripped his shirt tightly, staining the front with her tears. Her breath hitched and she hiccuped as words spilled forth. "I- I didn't w-want to, I... It just made me so m-mad, a-and I c-couldn't help myself, because you really pissed me off, and then you were just lying there, bleeding and-and moaning, and I was so scared, and how could you fucking do that to me, you fucking asshole?! You scared the shit outta me, insensitive bastard!" She shoved him away, anger causing the tears to fall faster, her face twisted in a frantic, panicdriven rage.

He could feel anger flare within himself. "How could _I_?! What the _fuck_, girl? _You_ very nearly killed me and now you tell me that _I_ was wrong in worrying you? _Me_?!"

They shouted at each other and Xigbar couldn't really remember the words that were uttered, but they were hurtful, intentionally hurtful, and they stung them both worse than knives ever could and suddenly she was in his arms and they were kissing, teeth clashing and tongues battling for dominance, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been this turned on.

They tore frantically at each other's clothes, less than graceful, feral and needy, and they hardly separated for air. She was 22 years younger than him, but he didn't care, he didn't care. He just wanted her, needed to feel her body beneath himself, and he more or less threw her down onto the bed, following her quickly.

Their mouths collided again, still in a lust- (and anger) induced frenzy, and they were tearing at the clothes still separating their bodies, serving as some form of blocking from what they both needed. Xigbar all but forgot who he was as he made his way down her body to bite and lick and kiss at her breasts and stomach, her throat, the insides of her thighs... And he could barely hold himself back as he heard her moans of pleasure.

He looked up at her, his one eye hooded, seeing her pupils dilated in pleasure, and decided that he wanted to torture her a little. Never mind that he was torturing himself at the same time, it didn't matter at the moment. He dipped his head torturously slowly, sliding his tongue along her wet, hot, pulsating core. The noises she made as he tasted her almost drove him over the edge, and his cock throbbed to be inside her, leaking precum onto the sheets. He slid his tongue along her once more, sliding the wet muscle inside her, and the cry she gave as her hands fisted his long hair made his cock twitch. The sound was husky, longing, wanton and uninhibited, begging for more. He groaned softly as he slid the tip of his tongue in slow circles around her clit, sliding two fingers inside her.

She was hot and wet, tight and welcoming, and he wanted to be inside her, wanted to thrust inside her with wild abandon, making her writhe under him. He drew back with a teasing smirk and wrapped his free hand around his cock, stroking slowly.

"Want me..?" His voice was husky and the words came out in a teasing purr as his eye roamed across her naked body. She was covered in silvery scars, some larger than others, some only thin streaks, marring the olive tones of the skin on her lean, muscular body. Her build wasn't overly feminine, her breasts were small, but damn... He wanted her with every inch of his body. What he felt for her wasn't love, it was pure and savage lust. He wanted to fuck her within an inch of conciousness.

His answer came in the form of a soft moan as she rolled her hips for more friction, tightening around his fingers, promising great pleasure for his cock. He couldn't hold back anymore, and suddenly he was inside her and their bodies were moving purely on instinct. She was hot and tight and he had to gather a lot of self control to not cum the instant he slid inside.

She spread her legs wider and clutched at his shoulders, tugging him down for a sensual, wild kiss as she moved her hips to meet his thrusts. The only sound audible in the room was their moaning, along with the sound of skin against skin, the occasional grunt and soft yelps as teeth bit down a little too hard. It didn't take long before her body went taught as the string on a Wutainese longbow, and he could feel her tightening around his cock before she came with a loud, hollow, husky scream. He followed soon after, groaning loudly and pulling out just in time, soiling the sheets.

They collapsed on the bed and held each other close, comforting each other as close friends would.

---

Xemnas sat down on a bench, the warm air seemingly boiling his brain. He was in need of a bucket of ice cold water, quickly. The summer in Midgar was stifling, and he looked at his cell to check the date. The 12th of July. Which meant that Demyx's birthday was in five days... And Arrow had her birthday in about a month. Wonderful. He hoped they would be able to find her before then, so they could give her birthday presents. 18 was a pretty big number. He thought wryly about that for a moment, feeling slightly like a baby. His own birthday was in December, but at least he was older than Zexion.

While he was thinking of Zexion, it crossed his mind that he hadn't seen him in a while. They'd gone out searching, and hadn't been able to find a thing. Not a sign, not even a rumor. And now he'd lost sight of his friends. With a sigh, he pulled the phone out of his pocket again, wondering idly where he was.

"You lost...?" The voice was soft, dark and pleasant, spoken in carefully guarded tones. He turned and his gaze landed on the most astonishing sight he'd ever seen. The guy was probably about a foot shorter than himself, his golden hair was spiky and stuck out at odd angles and his eyes were bright blue. Beside him stood a very tall, clearly Wutainese man with long, braided black hair and mako-gleaming grey eyes. Strapped to the blond's back was a huge, sinister-looking sword, whereas the Wutainese man carried two, but not nearly as big. The blackhaired guy cocked his head and smiled.

"Hi. You looked a little lost over there. What's the matter?" His voice was dark and friendly, very much unlike that of his companion.

Xemnas wondered idly why he looked so much like Arrow. "Uh... I'm out looking for a friend, and... Yeah. So I lost my other friends as well."

"A friend, huh? And you lost your other friends..?" The two fighters exchanged meaningful glances. Xemnas furrowed his brow. What the hell was all this about? They weren't going to drag him into some back alley and rape him, then leave him to die? If that was the case, he wouldn't go down without a fight, though these two were probably much stronger than him and also heavily armed. He cursed silently to himself.

The blond man nodded to his Wutainese companion and stepped closer, and they both took a seat on the bench beside him. Xemnas shrank back a little, even though he was taller than them, and seemingly bigger than them as well. He knew a fighter when he saw one, and these two were mako enhanced. That could only mean one thing...

"SOLDIER?" He asked, his voice wavering somewhat as he looked at them. Silence followed his simple question, before the Wutainese man's face split into a wide grin.

"I used to be one, once upon a time. Then the whole business with ShinRa went down the drain, and I moved back to Wutai to see to my family. The name's Ryu." He extended his hand towards Xemnas with a friendly smile, and no cruel intention was visible in those grey eyes of his.

"I'm Xemnas... I... I used to dream about joining the TURKs for a while, but then I discovered music and drums, so... I exchanged my childhood dream for a new one, it seems."

Ryu nodded. "I see. My family is packed with musicians. My brother runs a record company, actually. And the TURKs, well... TURK is for pussies, man. If you want to become a real man, you join SOLDIER." This earned a snort from the blond.

"You wouldn't dare say that to Tseng or Reno, they'd kick your ass and stomp on it. And Vincent would ban you from sex for a year or so." His voice was silent, but mirth and a certain teasing quality was evident in it.

Ryu rolled his eyes. "Don't mind Cloud, he's just a pushover. I mean, he's really into Reno, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Seriously, though," he glanced at the man called Cloud (What kind of a name was that, anyway?) from his position on the other side of Xemnas, "You should do something about it. What's the worst thing that can happen?"

Cloud gave him an incredulous stare. "He'll definitely turn me down."

"So? It's not the end of the world, Cloudy. So he turns you down, big deal. I bet there're loadsa guys out there willing to go out with you."

Cloud groaned. "Man, d'you have to use those infernal _nicknames_? They're so damn annoying."

Ryu shrugged. Xemnas felt slightly amused, then he thought of something.

"You mentioned Reno..."

This made them turn toward him, their faces carrying intrigued expressions of varying degrees.

"You know Reno Sinclair?" Ryu asked, sounding slightly apprehensive. Knowing a TURK might mean a lot of things... And few of them were positive.

"Yeah... I live with his younger brother, Axel. He's supposed to help us find our friend."

Understanding dawned on their faces. "So it's _your_ friend! Yeah, we heard." Ryu did most of the talking, Cloud didn't really seem like the kind to speak a lot. In fact, he didn't seem like he een wanted to be there, and the mentioning of Axel's brother made his expression darken.

He nodded at Ryu's words, though. "Yeah, she's been missing for quite some time. We miss her a lot, since she's a really good person, kind and all that. She just-"

"Made a wrong turn, huh?" Ryu's voice was morose and slightly bitter. "Yeah, I know all about that. My brother, you see, he's a drug addict. I swear he'd do anything for drugs." He turn to Xemnas with a serious expression, intelligence shining in his grey eyes. "If your friend is anything like my brother, you can't search the plate. You have to look beneath it. And if she's on the plate, well... That means she's gone to great measures, and she might be beyond all hopes. D'you have a picture of her?" Suddenly the moment was gone and the man was back to his goofy self.

Xemnas was a little worried at his words, but dug the picture out of his wallet none-the-less. He handed it to the man that looked so much like her, and watched as his brow furrowed in thought. "Do you... uh... recognize her?"

Ryu nodded silently, handing the picture over to Cloud. The blond looked at it for a moment, then turned his gaze toward the sky. He looked down at the picture again, his eyes narrowed in silent contemplation. After a while he turned to look up into the amber eyes of the younger boy.

"What's her name." He didn't ask, he demanded. Xemnas really understood how a guy like that could save the world, and now he suddenly realized that he was sitting beside Cloud Strife of AVALANCHE. He was a little stunned, to say the least.

"Her name's Arrow. Arrow Andrews, to be precise. Why?" He couldn't help but hope a little.

Cloud smiled, then grinned (Xemnas found the sight quite pleasing to the eyes), and suddenly he was laughing. "Man, Reno's thicker than I thought! He's searching all over the place for this person called Swiftblade, and doesn't realize that she's under the same roof as himself!"

Xemnas was shocked. "What are you saying?"

Cloud waved a hand in dismissal. "Never mind that. I was just thinking out loud. Look, I'll tell you when I find out more, but keep your hopes up. I'm gonna find this chick no matter what." He flashed a wide smile, and for a moment he was the old Cloud again, the one who fought Sephiroth the first time, the one before Aerith died. He stood and gestured for Ryu to come with him. "Let's mosey, Ryu. And kid," he turned to Xemnas. "Axel's apartment is right down there." He pointed to a familiar apartment-building. Xemnas smiled.

"We'll be in touch, kid." Ryu reached out and ruffled his hair gently, smiling handsomely at him. Xemnas watched them walk away before standing and making his way home.

It was with renewed vigor that he shoved the door to the complex open, and entered.

---

Demyx was tired, angry and disappointed, and his annoyance only grew bigger when a happy Xemnas made his way inside. "What the hell? Did you get laid or something?"

This made a rather cute blush creep onto the taller boy's cheekbones and he cleared his throat, looking embarassedly down at his toes. He shook his head.

"Still a blushing virgin, then. Okay, spill your beans, I wanna hear what makes you so happy."

I think we might find her soon. I met two men not far from here, it seemed like they knew Reno, and they said they were gonna help. And you won't believe this," his voice betrayed his excitement. "It was fucking Cloud Strife and one of his SOLDIER buddies. I didn't get it at first..."

"You were always kinda slow, Xem. Comes with the size." Demyx wished he'd get to the point. His brain was fried and he really wanted to just fall asleep, die, or both at the same time. He didn't really have any idea how that would work, though, and the whole prospect of search kind of irked him, it was rather fruitless.

Xemnas sat down at the end of the couch and Demyx instantly used the opportunity to put his feet in his lap. "Okay, so here's the deal," Xemnas rubbed his shin lightly, which felt like heaven on eart after all the walking he'd done that day, along with working. "I talked to them, showed them her picture, and I think we've got a lead. A real good one. I seriously have hope for this now, finding her and all that jazz. I think we're close, man. Really close."

Demyx sat up quickly, but regretted it instantly as his head started to pound. He rubbed at his temples to try to stall the impending ache. "You mean..."

Xemnas nodded, his face splitting in a great smile. "Yeah. We're so close to finding her now. It's all a matter of trust, really. We'll trust these guys, right?"

Demyx nodded absently, smiling faintly to himself. "Yeah... Yeah, we'll trust them. We'll see how it goes."

---

When Zexion found out, there was a hell of a ruckus. He went from crying his eyes out to furious and then to chipper and happy in only a few minutes, showing them all what a real _emo _kid was. He portrayed the entire spectrum of emotions in an instant and bestowed hugs upon everyone, even a grinning Axel, a reluctant Saix and Demyx's cousin Roxas who had come to spend the night, because his family was a little too much at the moment.

"So, when do we get to see her?" Zexion's face was as bright as the sun, and he was bouncing in his seat. Demyx, who still hadn't recovered from his headache, glared silently at him.

"We haven't found her yet, Zex," Xemnas stated, watching with a patient smile as Zexion's face fell. "But we're close. Very close."

"So no girltalk in a while, huh?" Zexion pouted, fixing Xemnas with his blue eyes of doom. Xemnas could feel himself cracking, watching those doe eyes fixated upon his person.

"You can always have girltalks with Roxas," Axel stated with a wide grin, slapping the blond's back heartily. The gesture was returned with a fearsome glare as Roxas turned upon him.

"Why don't he have a girltalk with _you_, Sinclair?" He all but growled, his big blue eyes narrowed in anger. Or annoyance, either emotion was a possibility.

Axel shrugged. "I'm not a girl."

Saix merely arched an eyebrow and pinched his ass, causing Axel to jump a foot into the air with a girly squeal.

"Not a girl, huh?" Saix teased, smirking slightly.

Zexion promptly decided that the older blond was his hero. He was so suave, so cool, so... So amazing. And sexy. Don't forget the sexy.

Axel pouted angrily at Saix and summoned forth a ball of fire, holding it precariously close to his best friend's face. "Ashes."

"Point taken, Ax." Saix stepped back, still smirking. Axel huffed.

"You better remember that, Saix. If you ever call me a girl again, I'll roast you."

Roxas quirked an eyebrow at that. "Then maybe you should think before telling other guys that they're girly, _Ax._ For all _you_ know, I might turn on you and pour ice all over you while you sleep."

This quickly sobered the redhead up, and he sat down, looking up at Zexion, who had decided that Roxas deserved respect. He was only fourteen, but he could speak up for himself. That was always good. He turned to Axel with an inquisitive stare, looking straight into those alluringly green eyes. "Hm?"

"Anyone of you play any instruments?" That question caused a bit of a ruckus as well.

Demyx answered, though, since he was the biggest geek when it came to music. "Well, I play the bass guitar, Zexion plays the synth and Xem plays drums. And he sings, too."

Xemnas frowned. "I sound like a dying cat with herpes in the airways, Dem."

Demyx waved it away. "Nah, you don't so stop being modest about it." He turned to Axel with a wide grin. "He's got the most amazingly silky voice, man. It's wonderful. And when he growls, I could die. It's so hot!" He fell back onto the couch with a dreamy look in his eyes. Xemnas snorted.

"I'm straight, Dem. Don't get your hopes up."

Demyx made a dismissive noise. "I've got my eyes placed firmly on your brother, Xem, so don't worry."

Xemnas grimaced. "_Vexen_? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Demyx arched an eyebrow. "I'm perfectly fine, but thank you for asking. Your brother is a blond bombshell with green eyes, Xemnas, and he's perfectly molestable. I adore him."

Xemnas made a disgusted face. "He's my brother, Dem. That's just gross. Brother's aren't supposed to have sex."

Demyx shrugged. "I've walked in on Lexaeus and Larxene thousands of times. I'm scarred, really."

"And not to mention when we both caught Riku and Sora giving each other handjobs that time, Dem. That was disturbing." Zexion chimed in with a slight crinkling of his nose.

"Yeah. What the hell happened to innocent younger brothers, anyway?" Demyx sighed dramatically, grabbing his glass of water from the table and drinking the rest of what was left.

Zexion's reply was dry and not lacking in irony. "Flew out the window when they turned fourteen, I bet."

"Yeah, but Riku's 15, isn't he?" Roxas said, his cheeks tinged pink from the slightly embarassing topic the older boys were discussing.

Zexion shrugged. "Yeah. So what? Doesn't stop him from getting it on with your ickle cousin Sora."

Axel waved his hands to stop them slightly. "Okay, back to the initial topic; Music. You guys play instruments... There's nothing wrong with two synths in a band, right?"

Roxas and Zexion both shook their heads. "No, the sound could be syncronized a lot better," Roxas added, smiling slightly.

Axel nodded. "Yeah, and Sai and I both play guitar... We've got Dem on bass and Xemnas on drums... We could become a really cool metal band. If we had a singer."

Demyx grinned brightly, throwing his hands up. "I've got an idea! Arrow can sing! Once we find her, that is.." He turned thoughtful again, sinking back onto the couch, flopping over to place his head in Xemnas' lap and put his feet up on Zexion's knees.

Axel smiled. "Yeah, that could work... And then we have to find a name."

Saix made a face. "Yeah, but not until after we've found a style. We can only jam until we've found our singer, and from what I've gathered, that's gonna be difficult."

Roxas scratched his neck idly. "Jamming is good. We'll get to know each other's skills, right? That's always important. Plus, the band has to be friends, and what better way to become friends than jamming?"

Axel ruffled his hair with a bright, adoring smile. "Aww, Squally's ickle brother is so smart! That's a great idea, Roxas."

Roxas glowered. "Don't belittle me, Axel."

Axel looked taken aback. "I'm not belittling you."

"Maybe not intentionally, but you do. It isn't pleasant."

"I... I'm sorry, Roxas."

Roxas sighed, looking uncertainly into the redhead's bright green eyes. "Okay. Do any of you know of a studio where we could play?"

Saix nodded. "The backroom of the shop. That's a nice place to play, soundproof and all. Plus, we could redecorate it and fix it into some kind of artelier, for inspiration."

"I'll do that," Axel grinned widely, flashing his perfectly straight, pearly whites.

"It's settled, then. We'll work in the backroom of our shop, and the apartment will become our base of operations when it comes to finding your friend." Saix sighed softly, giving a faint smile. He was surrounded by a lot of people, and he didn't feel all too comfortable. It was okay, though. He had Axel.

"Great! And now, off to sleep." Demyx hopped up off the bed and walked into his bedroom to sleep, not caring in the least about whether or not the others would stay up or go get some rest. He was pumped, and he intended to use that night for rest.

---

**A/N: **Another chapter done, another soon to be begun. I don't know how often I post this, and I won't say that it depends on you. Just gimme a random number, and we'll see, but mostly I write when inspiration strikes, and with this fic it strikes more often than not.

This chapter was started a little while ago, but my budgie died and I lost my mojo. When it came back, I redid the entire thing. This is my take (and Sam's) on how Xigbar lost his eye. How did ya'll like it?

The sex scene was necessary, because it was their way of expressing their stress and anger at the moment. Xigbar and Arrow will _not _become a couple, it was just random, spur-of-the-moment sex. A onetimer, if you will.

The lines are drawing closer, and soon they will be united again. I think around chappie seven or so because of some undisclosed circumstances, so we'll see what happens. Hope you liked.

**See that little button down there? It loves being clicked, pressed, dented or whatnot, just as much as Zexion loves his Saix. Help establish the world of Saix/Zexion love! **


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